After Pregnancy Sex
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Sex post-baby is a sensitive and confusing topic. After how many weeks are you allowed to have sex? Is the vagina forever changed? Do we even have the desire? Clarify the myths, questions and concerns with this video.
Transcript: Logan: We get a lot of information about sex during pregnancy, before pregnancy, but what about after?...
Logan: We get a lot of information about sex during pregnancy, before pregnancy, but what about after? Time to dispel some of those myths. I think the biggest myth out there is that a woman's vagina will never go back to the same size after she's delivered a baby. Ian: That's a myth. Logan: Definitely a myth Ian: The vagina, as you have said, is an amazing organ and will return to its pre-pregnancy size and stay. Logan: So we definitely don't have to worry about that. Also, there is this myth that you have to have sex in certain sex positions after you've give birth, after you've been given the 6 to 8 week okay. Ian: Well, I don't think you have to have sex in certain positions but I do think you need to be careful about sex. Sex can be painful and there can be lubrication issues especially if your head's not really into the sex, your not completely aroused or you're a little nervous about returning to sex. So I think it's a great time to have some personal lubrication on hand, personal lubricant. Logan: Definitely, and if you're having sex at this point consider yourself lucky that your feeling good to try again. But it can be very painful. The vagina can be very sore and you want to just make sure that you're well lubed. Ian: Exactly. First of all there will be some leakage from breasts as well. That is typically common. Logan: Yes, breast milk will leak at the most inconvenient of times -- when you're in the throws of passion. So I think the best thing there is to wear a bra. Ian: What about the myth that breast feeding reduces libido? Logan: It certainly can because especially if breast were your go-to erogenous zone and now they're being used for feeding. But it's important to talk about that. Ian: And I've heard it said that so much oxytocin gets release during breast feeding that it can inhibit certain hormones that can inhibit testosterone production. So there is certain truth in that. Logan: You're less likely to want to engage in sex at that time. And what about the myth that the penis can actually damage the cervix after sex? Ian: I think that that's a myth. You know guys love to think that they're too big all the time. I think the main thing is it's a return to sex. Logan: A slow return to sex. Ian: A slow return to sex. Take it slow, use a lubricant, and lots of foreplay and lots of connection. Logan: And lots of talking, too. For more information about sex in the baby years check out goodinbed.com or the rest of the videos in the series.More »
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You can have sex during pregnancy, but a few precautionary steps should be taken. Watch this video on pregnancy sex to learn more.
Transcript: Now that you're expecting, your sex life has to screech to a halt, right?...Wrong! The good news: Unless...
Now that you're expecting, your sex life has to screech to a halt, right?...Wrong! The good news: Unless you have a high-risk pregnancy and your doctor tells you not to, having intercourse is A-OK from week one right until you're wheeled into the delivery room! In fact, sex during pregnancy may be more fun than usual! Many women say that the influx of pregnancy hormones leads to increased sensitivity and stronger orgasms. Of course, sex will become more complicated as your belly expands, so you may need to get creative with your positions. It's totally fine to use a vibrator or a dildo-or even a vibrating dildo!-in bed while you're pregnant. Just make sure that you don't jab yourself too forcefully with a sex toy, since plastic is stronger and harder than flesh. It's also safe to use a lubricant if you want to. Because your cervix is plugged with mucus, there's no chance that the lube will reach or harm your baby. As long as you're safe and smart, you can (and should!) keep enjoying your partner right up until your baby comes.More »
Last Modified: 2012-09-25 | Tags »
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Although sex during pregnancy can be healthy, there are certain conditions in which you need to be extra careful. Learn about your pregnancy sex limits in this video.
Transcript: Sex during pregnancy is usually fine, but there are some circumstances under which you need to be careful....
Sex during pregnancy is usually fine, but there are some circumstances under which you need to be careful. For the most part, sexual activity when you're pregnant is fine in fact, it's healthy! But, if you're experiencing placenta previa, whereby your cervix is blocked by the placenta, then it's not safe to get sexy. In addition, if you're at risk for preterm labor, then you should avoid intercourse and self-stimulation, as an orgasm can cause uterine contractions. Gentle oral sex is fine during pregnancy, but your partner should never blow into your vagina. This can cause an air bubble to develop in a vaginal blood vessel and may prove fatal to your baby. But, as long as you're careful not to strain your back, your husband will be happy to know that there is no reason that you can't perform oral sex on him as well. Finally, you may want to take a break from anal sex. Because pregnancy enlarges your blood vessels, you may already have hemorrhoids or inflammation in that area. Under these circumstances, anal sex can lead to severe bleeding. As long as you're smart about sex, though, you can enjoy it right up until delivery!More »
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Sex during pregnancy is safe and you can still have fun in bed with your partner. Take a look at this video for tips that make sex more comfortable and fun.
Transcript: Getting busy while you're pregnant is almost always safe, but get the green light from your doctor first....
Getting busy while you're pregnant is almost always safe, but get the green light from your doctor first. Then, head back to the scene of the crime for more sex! One great position for very pregnant women is spooning. Lie on your side and have him enter you from behind. You can also go for the tried and true position of woman on top! Or get friskier by resting on the edge of the bed with your feet braced on the floor. Have your partner stand and enter you gently. Many women find that sex during pregnancy is twice as good-literally! Lucky pregnant women are more likely to experience multiple, and stronger, orgasms due to increased blood flow to the pelvis! Of course, if loopy hormones and pregnancy symptoms have you feeling less than amorous, that's okay. You'll get your back in your groove soon after the baby arrives!More »
Last Modified: 2012-11-17 | Tags »
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Men may feel pressure to conceive just as often as women, and that's only one issue men may face. Check out this video to learn about the most common conception sex challenges for men.
Transcript: Ian: If you think conception is only a challenge for women, conception sex, think again. Guys have a...
Ian: If you think conception is only a challenge for women, conception sex, think again. Guys have a lot of challenges too, especially during conception sex. First of all, there's the whole feeling like a walking sperm bank, sex on demand thing.Logan: But you are during that time.Ian: Well, that's the whole point. We don't want to just feel like a walking sperm bank. You know a lot of guys have issues that I would call mechanical 'malefunctions.' Not malfunctions, 'malefunctions'Logan: 'Malefunctions.,' got it.Ian: We have a lot of them that wouldn't normally happen during sex. For example, erectile disorder. If a guys feeling pressure to perform, pressure to conceive, pressure for this one to be the one, you know that creates anxiety and that can lead to erectile disorder.Logan: And we do give you a hard time because we tell you sex has to be right now, you have to ejaculate at this particular period of time. So I get it, it is a challenge for you too.Ian: For some guys it is the opposite problem: It's premature ejaculation. Again because of that pressure and anxiety. Of course during conception sex a lot of women throw out the concept of orgasm so they are probably like, 'Go ahead and prematurely ejaculate.'Logan: Right, it doesn't make a difference as long as sperm meets egg we are in good shape. I would imagine that is you're stressed too. There are also problems with delayed ejaculation, you don't want to ejaculate, your body is not ready and maybe you're not talking to your partner about that either.Ian: Exactly, I mean delayed ejaculation really happens when a guy is potentially ambivalent about having a baby. And a lot of guys are ambivalent. In theory a guy can be really into having a baby and into a sex but once you actually start doing it you start worrying a little bit. You know those financial pressures. You haven't even conceived and you're already thinking about college tuition, after school programs...Logan: And I think we forget men also have and issue at times with low sexual desire at some point. And it becomes a bigger relationship issue especially if you're not talking about it. Ian: Low sexual desire, especially if your wife is waking you up at six in the morning saying its time to have sex before work.Logan: Time to have sex right now and you're exhausted and not into it. Ian: This is a subject that goes on and on. But for more videos on men and sex during the baby years and women, check out the next video.More »
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Women may encounter several obstacles on the path to pregnancy. Take a look at this video to learn about a few conception sex challenges for women.
Transcript: Logan: Thinking that conceiving a baby is just about tracking your ovulation cycles and getting you man...
Logan: Thinking that conceiving a baby is just about tracking your ovulation cycles and getting you man in bed at precisely the right time? Think again. There are a lot more challenges for women like stress and not feeling pleasure and lack of desire because you want sex to have a goal at the end of it. Ian: Absolutely. And another thing, I think that especially for women they get so caught up in the goal of having sex to potentially conceive, but if you're not amply aroused it could lead to painful sex, it could lead to lack of lubrication. There are a lot of reasons to try to keep stress enjoyable.Logan: And lack of lubrication isn't just about stress, right? It can be the aftereffect of some medications or going off some medications. We sometimes don't talk about that.Ian: Totally. And I think in the end, sex just can't become a goal, it can't become a chore. Even as a couple, if you're trying to conceive you have to keep it fun, keep the relationship fun. I think a lot of it is about creating anticipation outside of the bedroom so you don't feel like you're just jumping into the bedroom to have sex. Logan: And we put a lot of pressure on ourselves too as women that this is the time we have to conceive. That it has to be this one particular moment, which is incredibly stressful and creates these huge relationship issues that are bigger than just this one moment. Ian: Exactly, I think also a lot of women end up not really enjoying sex because they are conceiving. A lot of women really do not have orgasms during conception sex. That can be a little bit of an issue with conceiving in terms of there is that theory about upsuck. Sort of that an orgasm helps the sperm to travel up. But beyond whether that is a myth or reality'Logan: 'making conception easier. It's definitely a huge thing. I think that its important that couples have to talk about the challenges they face going through this process because conception sex can be a chore, but we don't want to be. Ian: And you know not everyone gets pregnant the first time, not everyone gets pregnant the 50th time. It could be a bit of an odyssey. So the best way is to just communicate your way through it. Logan: For more information about sex during the baby years, check out this series of videos.More »
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Conception sex myths have been making the rounds for some time. But what's the truth? Watch this video to find out the real deal on sex and conception.
Transcript: Ian: You know, there are so many different myths about conception sex. I think it is important to try...
Ian: You know, there are so many different myths about conception sex. I think it is important to try to distinguish fiction from reality .Logan: And there's so many wives tales that are telling men and women all these different things that aren't really all that true. Ian: I mean for example, that you have to do it in a certain position. Frankly, you could be doing it from any position. You could be hanging from a chandelier and as long as you are having sex and ejaculating, you have a chance of getting pregnant. Logan: And what about sex positions for certain gender? Ian: You know what some things you have to leave to whatever higher force you believe in. Logan: Actually, that would be your issue too. Sperm dictates gender so definitely your issue. The other myth that comes up a lot, do you have to have an orgasm in order to conceive? There's a lot of debate about this one. Pleasure is obviously a good thing and you want pleasurable sex. But there is also the idea that muscle contractions from an orgasm can suck up that sperm further into the cervix and into the uterus. Ian: Yeah, the upsuck theory is something a lot of fertility specialists still talk about and do advice orgasms. I mean listen, in general orgasms and sex go together well so it's not a bad thing. Logan: There's also another myth that you have to have sex every single day while you're ovulating in order to conceive. And again, doctors have different beliefs about this. Some people feel like if we're having sex every day more sperm equals better chances to conceive, but not everyone buys into that theory. Ian: On the other hand, sperm can survive for what is the duration' 72 hours. So listen, in the end I think there are different myths out there and some of them have a basis in truth. In the end, you just have to work on having a healthy sex life. Logan: You definitely do. But there is often one people forget: You can get pregnant the first time you have sex. Ian: Oh yeah. For more information about sex in the baby years you can go to good in bed, you can check out the book, or you can also just check out more in this video series.More »
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Sex during pregnancy may not be something women look forward to, or it may be all they think about. Find out about the changes in this video on pregnancy sex and hormones.
Transcript: Logan: There are a lot of reasons that women don't want to waddle into the bedroom while pregnant for...
Logan: There are a lot of reasons that women don't want to waddle into the bedroom while pregnant for some pregnancy sex. But the main reason is really hormones. We have this surge of hormones when we are pregnant -- we are just a mess. One of the things is progesterone. It impacts our uterus, it changes our breasts so they are more sensitive and they swell, indigestion and other kinds of gastro troubles' Yeah, we're not all that interested, especially in the beginning. Ian: Thyroid activity increases heart rate, can cause stress, mood swings. Lets not forget this is a good one actually for the guys: oxytocin. Oxytocin is a really important hormone during labor and then also again when women breast feed. Oxytocin plays a big role in the letdown reflex. But oxytocin also plays a big role in sexual arousal. And Oxytocin is also stimulated by touch. There have actually been studies to show if you hug your partner for 30 seconds or more it can lead to increased oxytocin in women. Logan: Bonding is definitely a good thing. Ian: So guys can actually help sort of with the hormones. Logan: No question about that. There is also HCG, that's what we test for when we take a pregnancy test. And the challenge with that is that it can trigger incredible morning sickness. I mean, I threw up every single day for 19 and a half weeks with both my children. Not really fun, not really conducive to wanting to have sex. Ian: I threw up after labor' a lot. Logan: Don't say that. We'll talk more on that later. For more information on sex in the baby years, check out more videos in the series.More »
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Are you worried about having sex during pregnancy? Learning about pregnancy sex by trimester can help. Check out this video for more information.
Transcript: Logan: So you think sex is different during pregnancy? I mean, how can it not be? But get this, it's...
Logan: So you think sex is different during pregnancy? I mean, how can it not be? But get this, it's actually different by trimester. So the first trimester when your pregnant: libido issues, nausea, breast swelling and enlargement, feeling all kinds of out of sorts, penetration can be painful... Ian: It's funny, the first trimester is a time guys are very often into having sex and that's often a time that women are not so into having sex. Logan: Right, after especially you've had all this sex to conceive and then we take it all away from you. Ian: Yeah, and you know A, we're in a pattern of hopefully having sex. And B, the pressure is off, we've conceived and now we can get back to like some lovemaking and some fun. Logan: And we don't want to. Ian: You know what's interesting in the second trimester the women's libido actually goes up. There is a lot more blood flowing to the pelvic area. A lot of women claim they are frequently aroused and have longer and longer orgasms. But this is a time to communicate with your partner. Because I got to tell you, as a guy we are not so comfortable with the changes that are happing in our partner's body. We are really freaked out. There's a baby in there. And there are definitely psychological issues that come up as well. Logan: You're thinking that your penis is going to make it through the cervix and poke the baby in the eye. Ian: Yeah, bang the guy in the head and give him brain damage. Logan: Not going to happen. And in the third trimester we switch it up again. This is where as pregnant women, we're really tired, we're really uncomfortable, we have even more indigestion and now we're afraid that maybe if we have sex it could trigger premature labor. Which if your doctor says its okay to have sex, its absolutely okay to have sex. But we still have a little anxiety about it so we might pull the sex away from you a little bit again in the end too. Ian: And there's some physical maneuvering to figure out in the third trimester too. Logan: There definitely is. So for more information about sex in the baby years, check out more videos in this series.More »
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Some women experience multiple orgasms when having sex during pregnancy. Learn more about interesting pregnancy sex facts by watching this video.
Transcript: Ian: You know, there are so many different myths about sex during pregnancy. Especially for guys, I got...
Ian: You know, there are so many different myths about sex during pregnancy. Especially for guys, I got to tell you, we've got to figure out fact from fiction. I think especially the big myth that really prevails is that we could hurt the baby during sex. Logan: Okay, so you cannot hurt the baby during sex. I love a guy with good self esteem but this whole idea that you're big enough that your penis is going poke through the cervix, through the amniotic sac and past the mucus plug, just not true. Not going to happen. Ian: The mucus plug' I believe that will stop any damage from happening. Okay, what about this idea that women get really horny when they are pregnant? Logan: Sometimes that does happen and this varies. Women have all different kinds of experiences. It varies by trimester. It varies by women. Some women love having sex when they're pregnant and some are really so out of sorts and so nauseated that sex is not going to be interesting for them. Ian: What about orgasms? Some women I've heard claim that they have really prolonged orgasms or multiple orgasms. Some women who have never had multiple orgasms before say they have it during pregnancy. Logan: Some women can. If you can or your female partner can consider yourself very lucky. It is kind of any amazing thing. And there is also this myth that while you're pregnant, you have a hard term with lubrication. This kind of happens at the extremes. By in the second trimester, when there is a lot of blood flow and a lot of arousal and women can get very lubricated. Ian: Speaking of arousal, I think that especially during the third trimester towards the end, women do worry that orgasm can trigger premature labor. That's another myth but if you do have a history of miscarriages or you have had a premature birth in the past, then you should consult your doctor. But otherwise you can have sex right up until the very end. Logan: Definitely. Right, up to the end. And really that is an important point, Ian, that we don't usually talk to our doctors explicitly about sex but this is definitely the time to do it. Ian: For more sex in the baby years you can go to good in bed, you can go to the video series, you can check out the book, lots of ways to find out about sex in the baby years.More »
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New moms are going through a lot, emotionally and physically. Check out these tips for boosting her post-partum self esteem and libido.
Transcript: Logan: When you've been peed on, puked on, and you have a baby surgically attached to your breast, the...
Logan: When you've been peed on, puked on, and you have a baby surgically attached to your breast, the last thing you want to do is have sex. I speak from personal experience. But it doesn't really mean we don't want loving, it just means we're not feeling all that good about ourselves. Ian: It's funny that you say peed on, puked on' I think a guy is still like, 'All right, let's get it on.' Logan: Well, that's nice to hear because we kind of think at that moment that we're pretty disgusting. Ian: I know. I really know this from experience. My wife constantly said, 'Well, I just don't feel sexy. I want to want sex. I want to feel sexy.' And I think that's where guys can really help by supporting their partners, little things like helping with chores but really reminding your partner just how sexy she really is. I think it is also really important, Logan, for a woman to let us know what she needs. Logan Oh yes, there is no question that we need to own some of this too. This is definitely our own psychological and also hormonal issue. You know, we have this rollercoaster hormonal ride, we don't know if we're coming or going. The body parts that used to make us feel sexy are now used for something else like breastfeeding. It's our issue too. We as women need to speak up and tell our partners that we still want to be intimate and we still love you but we need some help in that area, too. Ian: Right, it is a process regaining your sexual self esteem and balancing being a mom and being a woman. I think that is something that is essential for a couple to get through together. Logan Absolutely. For more information on sex in the baby years, check out more videos in the series.More »
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New dads can often feel like a third wheel to their partner and their newborn. Find out how to talk through Dad feeling like a third wheel.
Transcript: Ian: You know a lot of guys after the birth of a baby we really start to feel like a third wheel. Especially...
Ian: You know a lot of guys after the birth of a baby we really start to feel like a third wheel. Especially when you're not having sex with your partner. And when you have a baby, you can't have sex for the first 6 to 8 weeks. A lot of guys feel emotionally disconnected. We see mom, mom she seems fulfilled. Logan: We're very fulfilled. Exhausted but we're fulfilled. Part of this is our fault because we really aren't thinking about you that much. It's not deliberate. We don't mean to leave you out or make you feel like you're not important in this family. But we're so consumed with this new life that we forget about you. Ian: Some women say, 'I feel like having a baby is like having an affair will a smaller man that smells better than my husband.' But you know, the thing is it really is a fraught time because a lot of guys will feel like a third wheel. They feel emotionally disconnected and when you feel emotionally disconnected you seek to get those emotional needs met elsewhere. Logan: Often times women don't even realize this because they are so consumed in this baby world that they're living in. They don't even realize that their husbands are needing and emotional outlet and intimacy elsewhere. So it's really important that we communicate, ongoing, communication all the time. We don't want you to feel resentful of us either especially because this is a new tricky time we're all trying to figure out. Ian: I think a guy needs to continue to stay in there and continue to be like, 'Hey, you need to give me some attention. You need to come back into this relationship a little while.' And if you're a guy and you feel like you are throwing yourself into work, your developing flirtatious friendships, or your spending all your time on Facebook, you know you need to look for some trigger signals. Logan: Also this is when we talk to our doctors about what to expect afterwards. That your partner's breasts might not be the same. The things she found pleasurable before might not feel the same now which is why she's spending so much time in this other area and with this baby. The baby is filling some of those needs for her too. Ian: I think the big takeaway is that you need to get emotionally connected with your partner. Guys, women, get emotionally connected. And if you want more information about sex in the baby years you can go to this video series, you can go to goodinbed.com, and there's also the book Sex in the Baby Years.More »
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Pregnancy can have an effect on every aspect of your life. Watch our video as we discuss home life when pregnant in detail.
Transcript: When you're pregnant, even simple tasks-like microwaving a pizza or changing the litter-may seem risky....
When you're pregnant, even simple tasks-like microwaving a pizza or changing the litter-may seem risky. Most day-to-day household tasks are perfectly safe for women who are pregnant. For example, there is no reason why an expectant mom shouldn't use the microwave. There is no evidence that the minute radiation emitted from a microwave can even reach, let alone harm, a fetus. On the other hand, expectant moms should not change a cat's litter box. That's because of a parasite infection called toxoplasmosis, that is transferred from cat feces and is present in places where a cat does its business. Toxoplasmosis isn't harmful to adults, but it can cause neurological damage in a developing fetus. People can also be exposed to toxoplasmosis when gardening, so expecting moms should let their partner take care of the yard work-or at least wear gloves when performing these tasks. Pregnant women should be particularly careful about lead exposure around the house. Exposure to peeling lead paint, or to lead in general, can be especially dangerous during pregnancy. That's because lead exposure can lead to a lower IQ for the baby, as well as to a premature birth. If you're worried about lead, get a blood test from your doctor to determine your levels. Remember: The cat and your microwave have not suddenly become the enemy. Be smart and you'll be safe.More »
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